bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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