5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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