If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The adults are the big ones right?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
