So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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