it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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