All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The air taste purple.
Randomize
