Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
