she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
