I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
