how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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