Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
