I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
