1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
