I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
