Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
