the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize