I like my sex mixed with concussions.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
