We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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