he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
