i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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