you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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