So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
