HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
