why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
