Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
