Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
