yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
