We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
