So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
