So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
