I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
