1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
