you guys were way drunker than both of me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
