Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
this boner is exhausting
I understand Curling. That high.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize