Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
