I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
