they need to just BURY HIM!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
