if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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