try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize