i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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