you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
