She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We need to get me chipped asap
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
