As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
