Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
