Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
