I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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