I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
