someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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