She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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