Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
