Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
