I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
