the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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