yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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