I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
