Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
