My friends, they love my intelligence
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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