butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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